Love and Marriage

Today's the day.. He did it..

      After all this talk of him getting on one knee he finally purposed to me. I'm engaged now. (:  I was laying on the couch with my hand in his. He was sitting on a bench on the side of the couch. He grabbed my hand told me he loved me. leaned in and kissed me. Asked the question. Will you marry me? And placed the ring on my finger. I said YES of course. And kissed him again. Been all smiles since. 

    So I know I should be freaking out telling the world.. But I figure everyone will find out when they do. All I know is that on, January 6th, I became officially engaged to Him. The man I am so deeply in love with. I plan on making this last forever. So cheers to the end? (:

UGH.

          Maybe I am wrong, but this is what it looks like. I feel inside he is hiding the truth from me. All I want is to understand that deep dark feeling I get when I look into his eyes. No one tells me the answer, but our souls try to figure one another out. Will either of us ever be straight forward and tell the truth about our lives? Probably not. So is this healthy? No. I could bring up and talk to you about anything I am sure..but I am scared. Why don't you just ask me.


         Your soul is so dark, bitter, and cold. Why?

         You seem so lost in this world. Why?

         I love you.

Drunken Bastards...

Am I wrong to feel this way?

     So it's my first night officially here.. and you do that. You can't control what you drink? I mean sure, I understand have a good time..but to the point you can't move. Piss yourself and go to sleep so I am left on the couch. Thanks. I love you, but if this is going to be a habit I don't know how long this will last. 

     Am I wrong to feel so strongly against this? I had to deal with it when I was younger.. I don't want to go through it all again. Not now. I am better then this. Please treat me so.